According to the World Health Organization, a record number of young people worldwide are suffering from serious depression or anxiety disorders.
There is growing evidence that the increase in psychological ill-health of young people may stem from the excessive standards that they hold for themselves and the harsh self-punishment they routinely engage in. Increasingly, young people hold irrational ideals for themselves, ideals that manifest in unrealistic expectations for academic and professional achievement, how they should look, and what they should own. Young people are seemingly internalizing a pre-eminent contemporary myth that things, including themselves, should be perfect.
The energy behind perfectionism comes largely from a desire to avoid failure. When facing an important exam, crucial deadline, or business pitch, a perfectionist sees each opportunity primarily as an opportunity to fail. Fear of failure is a function of their excessive standards and desire to do things well. Their fear is that if they don’t do it perfectly, they’ll expose some inner weakness or frailty. That’s why those with higher perfectionism generally experience more stress in their daily lives. This stress then can create other mental and physical health problems.
When students or employees seem stressed out by a looming opportunity, help them shift their focus away from the disastrous possibilities of what might go wrong, and towards what they might learn from it instead. Recalibrate their goals downward and work with them to see stressful events as opportunities to develop.
And if they do fail? People with higher levels of perfectionism will typically be ambitious, hard-working, and diligent. A little bit of compassion and support when things don’t go well will help keep them that way.