Instead, I was ivory-skinned, without even the excuse of blue eyes or red hair, despite the constant sunshine.
取而代之的是我是白皮肤，没有蓝眼睛或者红头发，尽管一直晒着太阳
I had always been slender, but soft somehow, obviously not an athlete;
我身体纤细柔软，显然不是一个运动员
I didn't have the necessary hand-eye coordination to play sports without humiliating myself —
对于运动来说我眼睛和手一点也不协调，有点丢自己的脸
我也没有足够的平衡感来参与运动而不让自己蒙羞——不伤到自己或者任何离我太近的人。
and harming both myself and anyone else who stood too close.
有时会伤害到自己和自己身边的人
When I finished putting my clothes in the old pine dresser,
我把我的衣服放进旧衣柜之后
I took my bag of bathroom necessities and went to the communal bathroom to clean myself up after the day of travel.
经过一整天的旅行之后，我拿了一整包的生活必需品，然后去公共浴室去洗了个澡。
I looked at my face in the mirror as I brushed through my tangled, damp hair.
我在我镜子中看见了我自己的脸，我刷了我的紊乱的头发。
Maybe it was the light, butal ready I looked sallower, unhealthy.
或许是光的原因，我看起来气色不是很好，不是很健康。
My skin could be pretty — it was very clear, almost translucent-looking — but it all depended on color. Ihad no color here.
我的应该可以很好，很干净，大多看起来很透明，但是只是因为肤色的缘故，在这里我就没有了颜色。
Facing my pallid reflection in the mirror, I was forced to admit that I was lying to myself.
面对我在镜子中苍白的映像，我不得不承认我只能依靠我自己了
看着镜子里我黯淡的身影，我被迫承认我一直在对自己撒谎。
It wasn't just physically that I'd never fit in.
不只是生活上面我不能适应
And if I couldn't find a niche in a school with three thousand people, what were my chances here?
如果我不能在学校的三千人中找到自己合适的位置，我在这的机会在哪里？
我在这里又有什么机遇可言？