John Resig: JavaScript's Chuck Norris

Some of the regular irc.freenode.net #jquery guys have come to the conclusion that John Resig, creator of jQuery, is the JavaScript world’s equivalent of Chuck Norris, so we came up with some ideas and decided to pay homage to him in a blog post.

Note: he might actually be Chuck Norris, we’re not entirely sure.

• John Resig has never made a carousel plugin.. when he goes to the carnival, ALL the rides support jQuery.
• John Resig can kill you with two lines of code. Sure, he could do it with one, but the force of the explosion would cause the universe to collapse into a giant black hole.
• John Resig’s computer is custom-fitted with a titanium keyboard, because anything less substantial will melt.
• $("John Resig").position(); returns “everywhere”.
• When John Resig types $.jump() the console prints “how high?”
• When John Resig types $.require(), it’s not a request, it’s a threat.
• John Resig uses UTC() as a setter.
• John Resig does not $.queue().
• John Resig scheduled a cron job to run “rm -rf /” sometime in 2012. How the heck did the Mayans know that?
• The last time John Resig used $.die(), they amended the Geneva Convention to expressly forbid it.
• John Resig triggers onfocus ALL THE TIME.
• When John Resig tweets a Digg link, Digg crashes.
• $("John Resig").length returns “14 inches”.
• John Resig doesn’t query the DOM, he just glances at it and gets all the elements he was expecting.
• When John Resig inspects an element, he sees the raw electrons.
• When John Resig edits his hosts file, he doesn’t need sudo.
• When John Resig runs scripts cross-domain, they just run.
• John Resig had to remove the “Caps Lock” key from his keyboard because email recipients were actually going deaf.
• When John Resig applies a binary function with one argument, it curries itself out of fear.
• When John Resig pushes to master, git begs for mercy.
• John Resig doesn’t wait for the DOM to be ready, it waits for him to be ready.
• When John Resig tests isNaN(), it had better not be a number.
• John Resig’s commits ignore all post-commit hooks, because John Resig always has the last word.
• When John Resig has a new Date(), Math.random() is ALWAYS > 0.5.

OHN RESIG, jquery的创造者， 被认为是js世界的Chuck Norris 

谁是Chuck Norris? http://www.douban.com/subject_search?search_text=Chuck%20Norris&cat=1002 

他可能真的就是 Chuck Norris ，谁知道呢 


* John Resig 可以用两行代码干掉你。当然他用一行就够了。但是爆炸的威力会让宇宙崩塌成一个巨大的黑洞 


* John Resig的电脑特别定制了钛键盘，因为稍微脆弱一点的会熔化掉 


* $('John Resig').position();返回"无所不在" 


* John Resig 输入 $.jump()，控制台输出"多高？" 


* 当John Resig 输入$.require(),这不是一个要求，这是一个命令 


* John Resig 从不 $.queue() 


* John Resig 定了个计划任务在2012年某天运行"rm -rf /" 为什么玛雅人会知道？ 


* 上一次John Resig用$.die()的时候，他们修订了日内瓦公约明确禁止这么做 


* John Resig的扳机一直处于onfocus状态，一直！ 


* 当John Resig推特一个Digg链接时，Digg会崩溃 


* $(“John Resig”).length 返回"36厘米" 


* John Resig从不查找DOM，他只要扫一眼就会得到他想要的东西 


* John Resig查看一个元素时，他看到的是原始电子 


* John Resig编辑hosts时不需要sudo 


* John Resig运行跨域脚本时，他们怎么都会运行 


* 当John Resig发布master版本时，git会求饶 


* John Resig从不等待DOM变为ready状态，DOM都在等他ready 


* John Resig 检测isNaN（）时，它最好不是一个数字 


* John Resig提交新版本不需要写注释，因为John Resig永远说不完